Happy New Year!

There has been no real reason for this dearth of postings, other than the sad fact that I lost interest in my own blog.

However, the new year has visited upon me a new energy, at least for the time being.

I was sitting on the back patio this morning, enjoying a quiet cup of coffee and watching the rain fall on the lake, when Inner Self showed up, uninvited, as always.

IS:  Hey there; it's been awhile.  How have you been?

Me:  Go away.

IS:  Didn't your oldest daughter get married a few days ago?

Me:  Yep; what's it to you?

IS:  How are you holding up?  First daughter getting married, after all...that's gotta be rough.

Me:  (in spite of myself, warming to the conversation)  Well, I guess I'm OK.  It's a hell of a thing, you know.  One of those "circle of life" moments.  I mean, here I am, closing in on 50 years old, which can be a fairly traumatic event, anyway, and not only that but my oldest girl is getting married.  That's a lot of pretty heavy stuff to lay on a man all at once.

IS:  Well, but you like the boy, right?  How long had they dated?

Me:  Oh, yeah, we like him a lot; love him to death.  They dated about five years or so, so he's seen the girl at her best, and at her worst.  You've met her; you know she can be a bit melodramatic, and more than a little strong-willed.  "Terrier mode," we call it.

IS:  (chuckling)  Yeah, I've seen her best work.  Think he's up to the challenge?

Me:  Oh, yeah, I think so.  He seems to be able to calm her down quite a bit.  He's a good guy.  Plus, he had to impress not only the wife and I, which had to be hard enough, but he also had to pass her sisters' inspection.  I know that was tough.  Those girls are really protective of each other. If one of them didn't like him they'd have made short work of him.  "Put him back on the path to righteousness," they call it.  They're tough.

IS:  Well,  if he passed all inspections, why so down?

Me:  It's my first daughter, dumbass.  From the moment I first held her, when she was born, it was my job to protect her from all the "bad guys" (she used to call them) that are out there.  I did that for twenty-plus years, now all of a sudden that's not my job any longer.

IS:  Well, did you do your job right as a Dad?  Did you let her make all those little mistakes so she could grow up and be independent?

Me:  Well, I tried.  The wife and I both tried our best.  But you never know how you did until the kid is out on her own.  Maybe we missed something somewhere along the way. Maybe we forgot to teach her something that she'll need to know.  I don't know; it's hard to explain.

IS:  Hmm...if you like the guy, if everyone else in your family likes the guy, seems like you should be able to let him do the protecting from now on.

Me:  I hear what you're saying, but it's awfully hard to let go of that role.

IS:  Well, you have two other daughters, right?  They still need you to protect them, don't they?

Me:  Yeah; well, I hope so.  I'm sure that I'll feel the same way when they get married, but this is a very new emotion; I guess I'm still trying to sort through it all.

IS:  Drink some beer?  In vino veritas?

Me:  (laughs)  Tempting, but probably not the best way to deal with powerful emotions.

IS:  Well, grab that new pellet gun and shoot that damn dog that craps in your yard.

Me:  Also tempting, and definitely more therapeutic. I got plans for that little spotted bastard.

IS:  (getting up)  I gotta go.  See you later, old man.

Me:  (sighs, doesn't respond...stares out at the lake)