The boy got "middle named" on aisle 7

Yesterday I went with the wife on the weekly grocery shopping trip.  I actually enjoy doing this; call me a dork, if you will, but it's fun.

As we were winding through the aisles I heard a lady "middle name" her son from a couple of aisles over. 

For those who have never had the unnerving experience of being "middle named," this entails someone in authority, most usually your Mom, call you by all three of your names as a result of you breaking a rule.  For some reason this is called being "middle named."

For example...<boy pulls the head off his sister's Barbie doll...>  "Scott Otis Vanderdork!"

Being just middle named by itself was a signal that you had committed a transgression, but the list of possible crimes was long.  It could be anything from eating the topping off the pecan pie to smacking the Smedley boy down the road because he picked on your sister. 

Being middle named could result in punishments that ranged from a mild squawking to a swift smack on the ass using weapons up to, and including a wooden spoon.  Or, if this was a more serious misdemeanor, you might get a few swats with a switch, which you might have to cut yourself from the nearest tree.  In my personal opinion willow tree switches produced the worst agony. I learned early on that when ordered to cut my own switch, do not go to the willow tree. 

(Side note--having your grandma tell you to cut your own switch was a bad thing; the guilt was worse than the punishment.)

Most misdemeanors could be handled by Mom, or by whatever Mom happened to be on the scene. Our neighborhood, growing up in the early to mid '70's, was an patchwork of mutually supported equal opportunity maternal discipline.

The only thing worse than being middle named would be to hear, "Scott Otis Vanderdork!  Wait 'til your father gets home!" 

Having to wait for Dad, though, was reserved for felonious accusations, such as serious fighting, vandalism, or committing minor infractions at school. 

The caveat here is that if the offense involved the authorities the punishments were often piled upon, with both Mom and Dad weighing in.  That might get you a switch from Mom followed up by Dad's belt.  If Mom had a wooden spoon handy when she got the initial news she might give you a pre-emptory swat or two before going to the switch.

I don't know how prevalent "middle naming" is anymore.  With the slew of people immigrating into Texas it seems to have gone by the wayside a bit.  I remember it, though, vividly.  It was never a good thing, but it was a big part of my childhood.