Early morning, wanders from bedroom into living room.
Coffee, coffee, coffee...
Turns on pot, walks outside to get the paper.
Man, this is a long driveway; I wish the paper man could throw that paper a little closer to the house, instead of just leaving it by the road.
Sitting on the sofa, reading paper.
Ah, coffee; thanks, hon. Let's see...ideas for blog post...front page...murder, missing kid, politics. Turns page...Let's see what's on page two and three...more murder, shooting, this guy got stabbed. These Houstonians spend all their time killing one another; how is it that this city keeps growing? Bloodthirsty savages. Nothing good in here at all.
Puts down paper, goes into kitchen and pours more coffee; stares out kitchen window. Jeez, look at that spider web; I'll be that's a foot across! Where's the owner? Ooh, never saw one like that...probably called something like the Texas Death Spider. One bite and your pecker falls off. Your days are numbered, mister. I hate spiders.
Walks out the door and onto the back patio. Wonder what's going on down at the dock...
Stares down at the lake and watches the fish popping the surface. Man, looks like they're biting this morning; too bad we're going to buy shrubs. You guys are off the hook today (chuckles at his own wit)
Looks up and down the shoreline. Where's the big ol' dead fish was was washing down stream yesterday? Man, that thing had to be six feet long. Too bad it was upside down; couldn't tell what it was. At first I thought it was an alligator, but it had fins and no legs. Wonder if Sharon saw that something had taken a big bite out of its belly...wonder if that was before or after it died? I hope it was after it died. I hate to think about what could have chased down a six foot fish while it was alive and taken that big a bite out of it. Wonder what it could have been...'gator? Alligator gar? Rick Perry? Whatever it was, if it could chase down a fish that big it wouldn't have any problem chasing down a fat man swimming by his dock.
Starts back towards house...stops to stare up at pine tree. That big branch is dead. How do I get up there? That's got to be twenty feet in the air. Better find a way to cut it down before it falls on someone...
Screams and starts dancing around... F#&#ing fire ants! Didn't even see that mound! Scratches foot furiously... Go ahead, live it up you little sons o' bitches. I got a ten pound bag of ant killer that'll fix you up!
Wanders into front yard...Man, that little pecan tree I transplanted from the other house is finally budding out. It's looking pretty good; glad I thought to bring it down here. Yeah, I see you, Mr. Squirrel. Yes, that's a pecan tree, but it's mine; you leave it the hell alone. There ain't no laws down here against shooting you, you little furry bastard.
Strolls back into house...Man, I got no ideas to write about...
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