Meanwhile, in heaven... (and from "Get Shorty)...

On the eve of the birth of the Christ, I received a vision from the Almighty...

I saw the Lord God, resplendent in robes of shimmering white, a golden goblet of wine, standing next to His Son. Jesus, ever a man of the people, was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and hiking boots (He had done a fair bit of walking when He was younger, and had come to like the boots). He sipped from a cold bottle of beer.

In my vision I saw Them peering down on Earth, watching the world before Them. They saw politicians lining their pockets at the expense of the people they govern. They saw the pedophile priests, and the televangelists victimizing their flocks.  They saw parents bastardizing the holy scripture and using it to teach their children to hate. They saw us raping the planet without regard our kids and grandchildren who would come after us.

I saw the Lord God rubbing His temples in frustrated resignation. I saw Him turn to Jesus and say, "Son, exactly what did you say to these people?"

I saw Jesus take a sip of beer and sigh. He sadly shook His head and said, "Father, I know what I said, but I don't know what they heard."

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And now for something completely different...

I saw "Get Shorty" last night and laughed out loud when I heard the line, "Know what kind of writing pays the best? Ransom notes!"